Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Just a stay-at-home mom

I am pleased to introduce Adee, a friend I met about 10 years ago.  We discovered we had much in common, and it was fun to be together during that time in our lives.  Adee now lives in Idaho with her handsome hubby and two adorable children.  She is an intelligent, hard-working woman who knows how to have fun, especially with her family.  Take it away, Adee!

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a... professional. I liked the way that sounded. Hi, I'm Adee and I'm a - professional. I worked hard all through high school and then all through college so that when I graduated, I was pretty much handed a job. Everything I had been working toward was all coming to a head. I had finally been hired as a professional teacher. That's why it came as a bit of a shock to me when within four months of starting my first professional job, I got the distinct impression that I needed to be a stay-at-home mom. I wasn't even married, or dating anyone for that matter, and I needed to be a stay-at-home mom? Surely I was mistaken. I was certain I could make the world a better place by my working as a professional teacher.
After receiving that impression, it didn't take me too many times of wiping the nose of or reading a book to someone else's child to realize I didn't want to spend all my energy each day taking care of, nurturing and teaching other people's children. I wanted to wear myself out each day taking care of, nurturing and teaching my own children. 

As I taught and interacted more with my students, my eyes began to open to their lives. I began to see correlations between the academic and social success of my students and their home life. Invariably, the most well adjusted and successful students had a mom who stayed at home. This is not to say that there weren't the occasional successful students whose parents both worked outside the home. Or that all the students of the stay-at-home moms were brilliant and popular. But in general, most of the time, I could pick out the students whose moms stayed home and the students whose moms worked outside of the home. It was after contemplating and observing these differences that I knew I needed to stay home. I began to realize that my dreams of saving the world were better realized in doing a really good job raising my children the way Heavenly Father wanted me to.

Once I made the decision to follow that impression and stay home with my children, it wasn't too difficult to follow through. After I had my first child, I was asked two different times to teach, even if it was just part time. I really considered that prospect and tried in my mind to make it work, but in my heart I just couldn't justify missing the few precious years of my son's childhood to spend with other children. In the end I decided to stay home, and have never looked back or regretted it.

There have been many days when I have had to remind myself that I chose to be at home. Thankfully my husband and I were willing and able to make the necessary sacrifices for me to be at home because quite honestly there are times when I think leaving my kids behind for someone else to deal with while I go to work would be a whole lot easier. It was hard for me to leave an environment where I was mentally challenged, appreciated for my talents and skills, and felt like I was contributing.  But you know what? It's harder to spend day in and day out caring for the welfare and needs of another human life that is not yet capable of giving much in return.  It's harder to learn to be selfless and charitable. It's harder to make the mundane fun and exciting. It's harder knowing that if I fail at home with my children, nothing else will compensate for that failure. It's harder to be a stay-at-home mom. It's the hardest job I've ever had. And it's totally worth it! 

1 comment:

Amanda said...

I love reading about other full-time mom experiences. Thanks for sharing.